I miss you the most, The Birthday
The sun is all over me, shining at its full brightness.
There is this heavy smell in the air today.
There are many people around me, walking, calling, running.
When I notice everyone turn by turn as much as I can, I can feel the sadness hidden in them.
Today, everyone seems low and sad.
That’s something in the air today…
My heart is pumping really slow.
My blood feels cold. It’s slowing down.
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I think I am dying.
I’ll die for sure. My mind is heavy.
Eyes are full of tears wanting to lunge out of my eyes.
Today everything seems low and sad.
It’s the day that I wanted to remember my whole life.
It’s this day. It’s HER birthday.
It’s her birthday and I can’t even wish her.
I can’t even see her. I can’t even tell her mine today…
Who will eat those gifted chocolates with me now?
For who, I’ll plan the party?
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For who will I search YouTube and try my best for the surprise?
For who now? For who, I’ll decorate my room, the walls, and the ceilings?
For who, I’ll write ninety-nine reasons why I love you?
For who I’ll write long wishes, longer than the last one every time?
Years ago, exactly on this day, I was writing birthday wishes.
Today, I am writing this, but I am sure it’ll not be longer than the wishes I wrote.
Love is lost today.
I can’t hold anymore. The tsunami is rushing out of my eyes.
I am unable to hold my tears any further.
Today, I wish you were here.
I wish my heart stops right away.
I want this sad, low, warm wind to take me away with it.
I’ll be in the air.
I’ll be able to be around you then.
Where are you? Why did you leave?
Today, I miss you the most.
My gallery is still full of your photos.
Remember the ugly ones, you always wanted me to delete?
I open that, and a silly smile spreads over my face.
The drop silently falls on your forehead, am I crying?
Can someone cry and smile at the same time?
Remember our first date?
You eat salad too much. Do you still love pizzas so much?
Or your love changed?
Now who will tell me to control my anger?
Now, who will hold my hand and say, I love you?
For who I’ll live now?
Remember the watch you gave?
I still have it.
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I wear it sometimes but not in front of my friends.
That watch, in my hand, feels as if it’s you, holding my hand.
My hands feel empty without that watch.
My heart looks empty without you.
My life looks empty without you.
I wish that one day, you miss me.
Because there’s not a single day in which you are not missed.
Today, I miss you.
One day, I’ll meet you, and then I’ll say,
today, you are mine.
You are mine…
Written By: Burhanuddin Shabbar, email@example.com